Posted - June 28, 2014 | August 26, 2015

Amazing Spider-Man 495
The Balancing of Karmic Accounts

The best thing about this issue isn't the action scenes - its the brilliant dialogue from J. Michael Straczynski. Join me, I'll be stopping by all the amusing panels.

Let's start with this one (although this doesn't have any dialogue).

spider-man illegally using
					lab equipment

Believe it or not, but this panel shows Spider-Man breaking the law.

He needs some lab analysis. It's expensive. This is Peter Parker before Horizon Labs and Parker Industries, so he can't afford it. What he does is he breaks into a lab to use their equipment.

That's a crime isn't it? No excuses. Spider-Man is breaking the law. More than that he is using the resources, the assets, of somebody else without giving that person something of value in return. That's stealing.

I'm looking at this and I'm thinking: Captain America will never do something like this. Daredevil is a lawyer, he wouldn't do something like this either - besides Matt Murdock, is nearly always loaded. This is a Spider-Man thing.

So Peter's doing his clandestine work and a couple of janitors come in to do their work. One of them has got something interesting to say about waking up in the morning:

all about waking up in the 

This monologue just speaks to me. I am exactly like that. I often wake up before the alarm, and it's like five, ten or fifteen minutes to the ringing. And I can't stand lying in bed anticipating that grating sound going off so soon so I turn off the alarm. Just like this janitor, I'm stuck in bed staring at the ceiling halfway between sleep and waking. I've always known I wasn't alone but its nice to read about it and confirm that this is a shared human experience.

What happens next is magic. Spidey gets discovered by this janitor. but instead of calling security this quick-witted fellow is ready to make a deal.

making a deal with spider-man

Moments later . . .

selling spider-man collectibles

Looks like somebody is going to have some extra cash.

Beautifully done John Romita Jr. panel of MJ and Peter.

peter and mj

Here's another great piece of dialogue. Officer Lamont just came off from breakfast and there is this exchange.

lamont the miser

" . . . Maybe next time you'll leave a tip!". That is gold! And since when were diner personnel public servants? I'm laughing but in one sense this isn't funny. I just learned that waitresses and restaurant people typically get two dollars and change per hour. No kidding. These people live off tips, so Lamont is really doing a disservice here.

Here's the notorious Mr. Fiorelli.


Looks like Peter doesn't know about his little 1950s-era massacre.

					doesn't know fiorelli's bloody past

It's action time: Spider-Man vs. the gamma-irradiated zombie known as Digger:

					vs. digger

Digger has a little spiel about how it was much better in the old days.

digger talking about 
					the good old days

This bastard forgot to add details like, oh, colored people knowing their place, rock and roll being demonic, homosexuality being a disease. The "good old days" are exactly where they belong - in the past.

All's well that ends well as Spider-Man takes care of the big, bad, Digger. Fiorelli, though, does not get away with the murder of thirteen people. He's on record:

a recording being played

And under arrest.

The "my kind of woman" exchange below is another great piece of dialogue.

lamont and spidey exchanging banter

So is this "cactus" exchange.

spider-man talking to fiorelli
					during a stall in the fighting

Surprise! Surprise! Peter Parker is no longer allergic to money.

spider-man gets a well-deserved

Good for him. This is how he spends it though.

the gwen stacy library

Wrong. Granted that a library benefits the community. No question. But one's first obligation to the community is taking oneself off the poverty list and KEEPING oneself off the poverty list. Is Peter so well off that he can throw money into a library instead of himself? NO. Bad move Mr. Parker. Leave the library building to the Foundations.

One last, one last piece from this issue. Peter says something about superheroes in general and about the Hulk in particular.

some insider insights from peter

I'm remembering World War Hulk . So Peter could have pulled the trigger all along? Hmmmm. I have my doubts.

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